"SATAN MADE ME DO THIS, I SWEAR!"
He was born on Friday, the 13th. And as if on cue or maybe taking offence to this obvious provocation, fate took a special liking to him. His troubles were not a consequence of human malice but of a higher conspiracy of nature — so much so, that there could be no plausible explanation to most of what befell him; although certainly none of it was arbitrary.
The day of his birth was probably where it all started — and for anyone who knew better, that should have been the day where it all ended. Alas! The newborn had no way of knowing, did He?
For the sake of clarity allow me to explain.
He was destined to be a God — a product arising from the union of the Universe’s first couple. His birth was prophesied by seers and the holy books. But apparently, fate had a mind of its on — one that frequently gave in to whims and would succumb to an impulse to roll up its sleeves and punch our Protagonist below the belt.
For, on the day of his birth, his mother miraculously produced another baby from her womb — one that would out-race our protagonist by a couple of hours and it were these hours that relegated our much-prophesied hero to an after-thought of sorts.
The world, he was to learn the hard way, could only accommodate one God at a time and his twin brother was to fill in those Royal boots — although not simply because of his first-born status.
The Gods are born to rule and not to be ruled. Our Protagonist, by virtue of His untimely birth, found Himself to be a direct contradiction to the Holy laws that could not be altered to accommodate anyone —more so, a redundant Prince. The consequences of His birth were to last Him a lifetime.
By now, I assume the reader has firmly grounded himself into the story. So, I shall delve deeper.
Fate, obviously relishing the role of a glorified mid-wife, continued giving our Protagonist only rotten lemons — ones that no matter how hard He tried wouldn’t yield to become decent lemonade.
Even as our Hero made the much sought after journey from the womb to the cradle, his father had handed over the Empire to Rufus (the first-born twin) in the first look itself — despite the vehement protestations of our Protagonist who came out kicking and screaming. Yet, his first impression found no takers. A general myopia seemed to have descended over the world — one so severe that it would ensure that the masses have eyes only for RUFUS — the one who inherited not only the throne but also the hereditary baggage.
Our protagonist, unimaginatively or (to be frank) uninterestedly named DITTO was treated like an uninvited gate crasher for the rest of his unfortunate life. In fact, Ditto could have cocooned himself in his mother’s womb firmly refusing to come out and no one would notice. No, not even the queasy mother who was too busy cooing over the handsome features of her first born.
It was only after a few hours, when Ditto set out to mark his territory, that the exultant parents realized that they had a problem of surplus. You see, Ditto, by the very fact of his existence, had made the pyramid of aristocracy top-heavy. And, aristocrats seldom bother themselves with concepts like equality. That explains the names, RUFUS: befitting a king and DITTO: an after-thought. Talk about beginners luck!
But wait, there’s more. The prophets and seers, their prophesy about the birth of A prince so rudely upturned by the apparition of two kids in the holy womb, vowed revenge and got it instantly for they claimed that it was Satan’s handiwork because only Satan could have hoodwinked their inner eye and that this unforeseen addition in the holy womb was a perverse joke by Satan. To add injury to insult, Ditto lacked an Adam’s apple — an aspect that was to conclusively sound the death knell on Ditto’s ambitions. Lesser mortals like us would quickly dismiss the absence of an Adam’s apple as banal or superfluous but for the Gods it was a matter of prime importance. It was considered becoming of a God to have a well-endowed Adam’s apple — their scriptures said so. And here were a pair of twins who were a mirror image of each other except for a pointy Adam’s apple.
The king, perhaps aware of the presence of His own genes in this ‘anomaly-of-a-son’ and how poorly it would reflect on Himself, downplayed the eccentricities of His ‘other’ offspring. Both were treated equally, at least for the benefit of the public.
And at this point, Ditto’s life was to have its first happy ending albeit a temporary one since, you must be aware, misery repeats itself. Ditto’s life was screwed because of Fate’s denial to mind its own business.
And after this, ladies and gentlemen, the plot sickens.
And to be honest, I don’t want to delve further into the unfortunate orgy of events that befell Ditto. But you get the drift.
Ditto was to live His life in utter translucence, which was convenient for everybody concerned. In fact, He soon started referring to himself in third person thereby trying to distance himself from the curse upon his life. His ego had been dented so badly that he could no longer look into the mirror and think of himself. Instead he thought of his older twin — the heir apparent. And there, Fate got its moral victory over its provocateur. The coup was complete.
